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Deadlines

Andrew Family Retreat w/ a Purpose Day #4

March 16, 2009

We began our day with Emron & Harmony’s devotional on family communication and cultivating relationships.

We filled out our worksheets on which relationships we would like to make stronger and how we can do that.

Then we moved on to “communication” and each took turns sharing how and when we best communicate and how we least like to communicate (which inevitably caused us all to pipe up about certain “people” or “situations” within the family communication that are less than savory to us….all in good fun of course ).

After we all got a few good laughs in, the discussion got a bit more focused and we all benefited (as usual) from the discussion.

Most of the clan headed to Fleming beach (the favorite beach for boogie boarding) while Doug and Heather went to scope out Honolua Bay for snorkeling conditions.  It looked pretty good aside from the surf break out on the mouth of the bay so we hiked down and gave it a whirl.

Despite the beautiful weather and the seemingly clear water, the water was actually super murky and we saw only a couple turtles and a few fish.

So we headed back to Flemings Beach to meet up with the rest of the family to catch some waves…which were sooooo big and most people were just being tossed around and gulping salt water!  But the weather was beautiful so we sun bathed and chatted a while.

That evening, we went to Roy’s for dinner (our absolute favorite place) and enjoyed a wonderful dinner followed by the absolutely decadent chocolate soufflé that only Roy’s can whip up!!!  We dive into those so fast it gets brutal.

Aaron & Heather discussed the chapter from The Intentional Family: Simple Rituals to Strengthen Family Ties Andrew Family Retreat w/ a Purpose Day #4, titled “Going Out, and Going Away”  in which we led a discussion on the importance of creating family rituals in going out for little treats or dinner on a somewhat regular basis to create traditions or rituals that members of the family all look forward to, and is a time to come together and bond/ strengthen our relationships with each other.

The Andrew family has several established family rituals of “Going Away” or going on a family trip where much time is devoted to spending time with the family, and strengthening family ties.

This book, The Intentional Family: Simple Rituals to Strengthen Family Ties Andrew Family Retreat w/ a Purpose Day #4, is great and continually discusses the importance of creating rituals within the family, which are meant solely to bring the family closer together rather than further apart as is more often the case as children and family are distracted with sports, clubs, friends, obligations, and interests outside the home that do not involve the whole family.

I have enjoyed reading and discussing the book, and value the importance of these rituals, and would recommend this book to anyone!

Mahalo,

Aaron and Heather

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The Negative Experience Transformer – Step 3 of 7

January 5, 2009

A 7-Step Unique Process to Transform Disappointing Experiences into New Opportunities

Step 3: Deal with Crisis by Exercising Faith…Deadlines with Hope…and Insults with Charity

Throughout our lives, every one of us experiences crisis in varying degrees, deadlines that seem to loom over us, and insults that come to us both intended and unintended.

What are some of the emotions that accompany crisis, deadlines and insults? These can range from stress and fear to anxiety and panic.

We can also feel hopeless, angry, offended, retaliatory, revengeful, and defensive. These negative emotions can lead us into a downward spiral that is hard to recover from.

I’ve found a solution for these challenges in three simple words that have been taught in the “good book” (the Bible) for millennia: faith, hope and charity.

FACE CRISIS WITH FAITH – First, we can get through any crisis in life if we exercise faith. Whenever I am fearful, I take it as a sign that I am not exercising enough faith.

Since the emotions of faith and fear cannot occupy the human heart simultaneously, when we’ve got faith, fear is dispelled. And we can deal even better with a crisis when we couple faith with good works (because the Bible teaches us that faith without works is dead).

In other words, get in motion and add some value to the world.

MEET DEADLINES WITH HOPE – We can meet any deadline head-on if we look forward to it with hope.

Because I am a writer, speaker, and radio show host, my life is full of deadlines. Even though I am naturally a procrastinator, I know that I perform best and with the most creativity when I’m in the eleventh hour.

I have learned to view “deadlines” more as “lifelines”—a new beginning. With hope in my heart, I look at deadlines and say to myself, “I can’t wait until that date because I will have my project completed and all kinds of new opportunities will begin to emerge once it is done.”

I then feel relieved and energized.

RESPOND TO INSULTS WITH CHARITY – I have found the best way to handle insults we might encounter in life is with compassion and charity. If someone insults me, I assure myself, “If they really understood why I did that—if they were in my shoes—they would never have said that.”

It might help us all to remember something I read a few years ago at a funeral for a dear friend who had passed on. On the memorial program was printed, “She was never offended, because she never took offense.”

May we be more cognizant of the power of using faith, hope and charity to deal with life’s crises, deadlines and insults.

Doug Andrew

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